She says she misses me, yet won’t initiate any contact or put forth any effort. What?

**apologies for the wall of text***

I had a little fling going on with a girl back from July-October. We’d talk just about every day, hung out a few times, made out, went to bars with friends, and we went to the movies just the two of us. Things were going fantastic. Late October – she thought I got mad at her, so we had the talk about “us.” During that talk, I was absolutely wasted, and came on really really f’in strong. Throughout that following week, we had a few other crappy talks, and I was pretty sure I freaked her out since our conversations were moving really slowly and she seemed very put off, so I gave her some space to collect her thoughts, as I thought that was what she wanted.

I ran into her at the bars a few weeks later, she told me I was looking good, asked about my new job, and texted me when she got home “was good seeing you, sure hope you’re doing well.” I took that as a sign to try and move forward again. When I tried, she told me she “didnt understand me.” I tried to get her to tell me why but she wouldn’t. I asked her a few days later if she’d want to hang out and catch up soon, she said yes. I called her a few days later, she said she couldnt til the weekend, and of course, the weekend rolls around and she can’t then either.

So I decide it’s time to move on for the time being, maybe hit her up in a couple weeks and see if things have gotten any better. I call her two and 1/2 weeks later, on a Thursday. Just asked her if she might be interested in getting our groups of friends to head out to the bars the following night. She ignored my call (she never answers her phone, but I knew she got it). I IM’d her the following night and we started chatting like old times. I told her how well I was doing with my new job and whatnot, and during the conversations, she randomly starts saying “i’m sorry.” I told her it was alright, and I was kind of an asshole to her way back so I was sorry. She said she didn’t think that was true, and that she had other people taking things out on her so she ended up being a ***** to me. I told her I miss hearing from her, and she said “I miss hearing from you too.” She said she thought I hated her, and that I had moved on (“so i did too,” she said – that kind of concerns me). I assured her it was the exact opposite and that I thought she was mad at me, so I wanted to give her some space. She then said “i miss our stupid conversations,” and the convo took another direction to just a more casual talk between us. I took this talk as maybe we broke some ground, and could start working towards getting back together again, so I texted her last night saying we should get together. She said I agree. After she said that, I asked her when she was free. and of course! no response. I asked her today when shes free, as expected, no response!

SO what do I do? I can’t possibly understand this girl. Should I just start moving on again, and maybe hit her up in a more further away date (months, rather than weeks from now)? Should I try talking to her online, and just sparking up those conversations again before moving to actually getting together (since, that is how we got re-acquainted, we knew each other in HS, recent college grads, hadn’t talked in 4 years)? BLAH!

6 Answers

  • ♥ ashin ♥
    1 month ago

    If two people are single and interested in each other, they will get together. It’s just not supposed to be this complicated. Let it go and move on.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Seems to me that this girl was confused. She took your responses on those conversations as not interested. Seems like when she said “you moved on, so I moved on” type thing, that she really did. Sounds like she still thinks about you, and does miss you and your talks. But I think this girl was a little heartbroken. She’s probably scared to get back into something where she could get hurt like before. To her, it seems risky. And now, she cant really make up her mind. Her head and heart are fighting 🙂 I would send her an email or some type of letter explaining to her how you feel, and leave the whole situation open. Let her decide. Tell her when she has time, and if she decides she’s up for it, to get a hold of you. You’ve tried and have done all that you can do. She’s either moved on, and you need to move on, or she will come around again. I’d say leave the ball in her court.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Ok, first, if you want a definite answer one way or the other, stop asking her if she will go out with you or when via a text message. Pick up the telephone, dial, put it up to your ear, and ask her. Yes I know that you said she won’t answer the phone, continue calling until she does. Ask her for a date, have an event, day, and time planned; be complete and clear on the details, not vague as in ‘some time or we should…’ She will either say yes, no, or I can’t. If she says that she can’t, ask why, and ask her to name the date that she is free right now. If she can’t or won’t do that, then assume she is just blowing you off, and just tell her that she can call you if/when she is free and wants to go out, and let her know that you are interested, but the ball is in her court, and that you are moving on.

  • T
    1 month ago

    Sounds like she’s not into you but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so she is not telling you.

  • Anonymous
    5 days ago

    dont wait thats silly. honestly, you dont ‘know’ this guy. guys are very good at making it seem like you get on like a house on fire. when you talk about this guy to your friends, do you make up excuses for him? like, yeh hes really busy etc? thats your first mistake. you shouldnt have to make up excuses. it takes 5 seconds to text someone saying i miss you! but he cant even be bothered to do that. dont even bother texting him till he texts you. let yourself fall for other guys! (pref ones that you see in real life). dont you think that if someone likes you theyd want to be talking to you all the time? and thinking about you even more than that… move on 🙂

  • jess
    1 month ago

    hear me out dude dump her

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