I dont get it my husband won’t let me have a girls night with my married sister and her friend. I am home 24/7 with our kid and every time i bring it up he gets upset with me, i try and talk to him about it and he gets a attitude and says “whatever you do what you want” but i know if i do it will only cause more problems i have never given him a reason to not trust me (but he has). My sister can get a little wild but i have always been able to handle her. I just dont get it! I dont know how to fix this and make him trust me?!?
14 Answers
It’s a matter of trust weighed against circumstance…
If he has reason to believe any of these other ladies involved may put you in a bad situation, then he has justified reason to feel concern.
A situation like a nightclub or bar is inappropriate. There’s other things that can be done instead that wouldn’t put you in a place where “people go to to pick up other people”… (unless that is in fact what you’re looking for). Personally speaking, my wife’s feelings are faaaaar more important to me that going anywhere, with anyone else.
SURE! it may also be a matter of his own insecurity, feelings of being left out of a good time with you (yeah it happens in a busy marriage), or anything else… ask him the simplest question, “WHY?”
Beyond that, he can’t “control” anything you do as an adult. We are all responsible for our own mistakes. Just make sure you don’t confuse the actual reason he objects with the kind of “justification” or conclusions most people are answering with here… hope that helps you at this point.
……………
ANNIE SAYS: “I have to tell you, most men who are that jealous of their wives are usually cheating themselves, that is why they do not trust anyone else.
Go out, have fun, enjoy and let him grow up.”
Annie ~the mentality of “self first” and putting marriage, communication and mutual respect dead last is why the divorce rate is so high. (sorry) Although very prevalent in North America during a time women had little or no equality to men, thanks to once viable “womens movements”, that has since changed. The world has also changed.
Ladies, it’s manipulative, damaging, isolating, self serving and abusive to behave that way. How many women would put up with a guy that does the same thing?
The hardest question women face today is, do I want a respectful equality in my relationship OR expect the “princess mentality/treatment” from men? Some women need to make up their own minds before abusing choices other women fought so hard for by expecting both.
Equality, mutual respect, communication and understanding fosters happiness. Control, manipulation, self centered attitudes, fear, and hurtful assumptions lead to loneliness.
That’s a horrible situation to be in hun.
Sure your sister might be a bit on the wold side, but that’s not you! I wonder if he’s like this with everyone though? If he is then you need to kick his insecure butt. You are his wife and seem like a good one and a great Mum, so if I were you I would tell him that if you don’t get out of the house soon you will go Ferrel on his ***!
You need to have a life outside the home that’s just cruel.
The picture is much bigger than the question and only you know all the details in the middle. Maybe if you reassured your husband you need time out for dinner or a movie. (you can have a few drinks at dinner). He may not only support your idea he would be supportive in coordinating child care. It may not be he doesn’t “trust” you. He has most likely been to clubs and drinking and clubs when your married is like playing with fire. Men have only one reason they go. He knows that and maybe it’s not a trust issue. It is where you are going.
He trust you, but he knows how he acts when he goes out. So it isn’t what you might do it is what he has already done. He is judging you by his actions. You tell him that he never takes you out so you are going out with your sister and if he gets upset then he will have to get over just like you had to. When you stand up to him and tell him that you don’t need his permission to go out he will start respecting you more as his equal.
Is it that he doesn’t want you to leave the house, or go out with your sister??? If he doesn’t want you to go out at all then you have big problems. If it’s your sister, then don’t mention her.
Try this – say you met someone in the grovery store, seems to have great friends, got together for lunch, loved them, then say they’ve invited you out. If he freaks, then you have major problems.
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RE:
MY HUSBAND WON'T LET ME GO OUT!?!?
I dont get it my husband won't let me have a girls night with my married sister and her friend. I am home 24/7 with our kid and every time i bring it up he gets upset with me, i try and talk to him about it and he gets a attitude and says "whatever you do what you want" but i know if…
You can’t make him trust you. He is a manipulative, controlling brat and he knows just how to handle you. When he says “whatever, do what you want” he knows exactly you won’t do what you want but what he wants, which is to stay home. Next time he says it, you should surprise him by saying “OK then, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go”. Then follow through. I’m betting he won’t believe you’re actually calling his bluff.
You can’t. If this man is controlling you to the point where you aren’t allowed to leave the house, it’s just one step away from controlling everything else. He doesn’t have to hit you to be abusive, so I say get out while you still can. You don’t deserve to be treated like a preteen who wants to sneak out and party.
Trust is a very important thing in a relationship, especially between husband and wife. If you have good reason not to trust him he may not trust you because he can’t be trusted. (My step-son is like that.) You should take a long hard look at your relationship with him. You and the kids might be better off without him.
You can’t make him trust you. A liar will not believe anybody else. He thinks you will do what he has done or been tempted to do. If I was you I would go out when I wanted to. You teach people how to treat you, so are you going to teach him that is ok for him to keep you trapped inside your house away from your family and friends? Put your foot down.