I grew up with brothers…so I have a pretty good idea of how dudes are. What am I suppost to do when my husband acts like the woman….example: sulking, not talking when he’s upset, etc. I want a man!
I grew up with 3 brothers, and have almost the same problem… married a guy that acts like a women (in other words all the things we read about what men don’t like about a women, that’s what my husband does) and it strangely heightened when we got married, it’s like I married a women. I love my husband so I’m coping with it, but I would like to understand, what ever this is more, so that I can deal with it better. my husband nags about little things repeatedly (he would constantly moan about something he’s displeased with for about 10 min). he would frequently ask me if he’s fat (there’s no right answer to give him believe me I tried). he would stare at the mirror for a few min. pulling this and that and then decide on wearing something else. I know girls love this – but my husband constantly text and call me and the thing we fight about the most is; when I don’t text or call him as much as he does me. (he calls it – he’s missing me way more than I’m missing him). He loves puppies, they are so cute to him and when they grow up, there is something wrong with them and he gives them away, I can’t give another pet away, honestly it’s an emotional and financial strain. I get it that some people would think I’m lucky because at least he doesn’t beat me. but I’m a problem solver, I want to know how I’m suppose to react to his 24/7 moaning. I can’t see him changing for me, but perhaps I can change the way I react to his girly moments.
My response may sound odd but please give it a thought.
Your husband might be a highly responsible man who would rather sulk than raise a finger at you when angry. Some of us have learned to suppress the urge for an outburst or attack by keeping to ourself than responding to taunts. This takes a great effort.
Another reason is that some men have observed that they never win an argument with their wives, so why do it? Or the man may not be well talented in expressing himself convincingly so he shys away from defending his position by keeping mute usually till some other time. We have some ego, remember!
None of these proves your husband to be less of a man.For what you may not know, his sulking may be the reason why you’re still together.
Here’s what you may do:
Avoid talking to him when his furious and hence sulking. Wait for a more appropriate time for discussions eg at the kitchen table when he’s eating his favorite or after a hot lovemaking. During this time, let him know how wonderful it would be for him to be more open and talk more with you. Use such times to let him know what turns you on (manly behavior); praise him for what he’s doing right and ask him to drive you crazy by doing more. Encourage him, creatively and positively, to talk.
A lot can be resolved by giving more love and approaching problems positively.
I am having the same experience as the very 1st writer. Right at this moment my marriage is going cold because of the same issues. He is in the withdrawal mode, sulking and pretends not to understand when I ask a question. My husband is always thinking that I am putting him down by the way I communicate with him. He is afraid when I change my tone of voice… I am never loud but would switch from very soft to very firm. I am extremely frustrated at this time and need help
She is a woman and a human being, if you can not treat her with respect and dignity she should leave you. You do not deserve her. why don’t you try making her dinner and letting her have friends, you are not the only person in her life. If i was her you would be divorced and i would have two or three husbands so I could have my meals made, the house cleaned, my feet washed, my laundry done and sex anytime i wanted.
That’s… sort of a mean accusation for you to make of the person you’ve promised to love for the rest of your life.
Personality and behaviour traits don’t only come per gender… they run in families, too. So if you’re looking at your husband and saying, “Hey he doesn’t act like my brothers, he’s not acting like a man”… well, he didn’t grow up in your family; he’s had his own set of influences!
Not to mention, from the “relationship” books I’ve flipped through over the years, and my own personal experience with men in general… they do generally shut down & go silent when they’re upset or worried about something.
If it’s really that much of a problem for you, then you have to talk to him about it. Not accuse him of it, but talk to him about it.
I know that’s a stereotypical response, but there’s a reason for that. It works. Arguments wouldn’t last long if the fault is only on one side; and problems can’t be solved if people aren’t aware of them.
Don’t you understand……
Men are that way too…. but they should not take it to the extreme that women do…
You need to look at the beginning of your relationship
Did he tell you when he was upset or mad at you and how did you react??
Be careful cause if you said no to the last question then you caused this on yourself…
If he did then you must understand that men adapt to there situation… if you always shoot down there argument then they wont argue
I know I know… you don’t do that…. but watch your next argument and see if you do… most women don’t even realize it …..
He might just be that man you had before….
I can tell you that my last marriage I stopped talking or arguing cause I always lost…
Just understand that most men think that it is a never ending battle to argue with a woman cause she never blames herself and he always is at fault…
hope I helped some….
I wasn’t trying to offend..
we want sensitive, we get sensitive…. us women are never happy. seriously, take a look at your past relationships…there was always something, right? love what you love and stop looking for greener grass…. all people have flaws. try to remind yourself often of what you fell in love with. you say he acts like a woman, well was he raised by women? in this day and age, there are so many types of people. he is a person and you loved him enough to say yes and marry that person. that means you have vowed yourself under god, to him. i have seen all sides of the fence, and i understand that all grass needs tending to. sometime you need to just pick up where he has left off.
just because he’s not acting like someone in your family doens’t mean that he’s not acting like a man. All men are not alike just like all women are not alike. I didn’t dream of a big princess wedding, does that make me more like a man?
Puhleez. Quit being so sexist and accept him for who he is. You married him, after all.
I was marries 7 years before, after some days i understood that my husband had a girly behaviour, it affected me eventhough after having a male baby i got convinced, my son is 3 years old but till now from my marriage he wont come near me and love me (romance). i used to go and call him, in very rare times he used to approach me for intercourse. for the past 2 years he is showing a lot of interest on male friendship. he is just omitting the family and always going back of male friends even if they dont give importance to him. if they neglect him he is worrying a lot and dont even speak with us. i saw few messages of him shared with one of his office met (he is a male) it is “wt sweet heart had dinner?” this was the phrase. after seeing this i totally died.. please suggest me what is his problem, i love him a lot, i want to live with him but these things disturbs me and make me feel bad… please give a suggestion about this whether he is normal or wrong?