13 year old dating a 19 year old?!?

My little sister is seeing a 19 year old, she’s 13 years old. She claims to ‘love’ him, I personally do not believe a 13 year has the emotional intelligence to ‘love’ someone in that sense. I am 19 too, and i could never ever date a 13 year old. Am i being too sensitive or am i right to worry? what should i do?


My parents don’t know, and i am not going to land her in it. I want to try dealing with it first. I don’t think they have had sex. But i do think he a bit of a manipulator. I’ve met him and i did not like him.

My parents don’t know, and i am not going to land her in it. I want to try dealing with it first. I don’t think they have had sex. But i do think he a bit of a manipulator. I’ve met him and i did not like him.

28 Answers

  • merry cate
    1 month ago

    When my daughter was 13, she started dating an 18 yr old. He was the son of friends and they had known each other since she was 8. It wrenched my gut because there is NO WAY an 18 yr old guy who has good intentions would date a 13 yr old girl. If he had good intentions, he would have waited for her to grow up!!! She was not a woman, she was a child!

    Understand that your sister is in 7th Heaven at landing herself a 19 yr old boyfriend. That is SOOOO cool! To a 13 yr old anyways…to those of us who see no better than a pedophile closing in on an innocent child, well, we need a pail handy! It makes me sick.

    It’s going to be really hard to get your little sister off this rocket. She is too emotionally immature to know that she is not special, just an easy target for manipulation, abuse. I hope you’re right and they haven’t had sex. Thank God my daughter didn’t consent and she never saw him again after the good-for-nothing almost raped her. She is 22 now and just graduated nursing school. I shudder to think of all her dreams that would have gone up in smoke if things had gone wrong. Thank God and I send your sister my hearfelt prayers that she will be lucky like my daughter.

    You need to stay close to your sister and be careful not to lose her trust. Your parents have to know but she can’t know that you gave her away. Is there a way for her to “get caught” without anyone knowing you set it up?

    My older daughter was amazing at helping her sister see the warning signs but as her parents, we were the ones with the power to limit her time with him. Sometimes, it takes the whole family to save a child. Don’t deprive your sister of all the help she needs.

    You have to stop this – this is serious and can hurt your sister her whole life. She might have the body of a woman, but she is just a little girl. Don’t take chances you might regret.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I’m 21. But from 13 to 19, I matured a great amount and had totally different outlooks on things. You are not wrong at all for worrying.

    Good luck, it’s going to be hard to convince her that seeing this guy is not the right thing to do. When I was 15, I was hanging out with 18-19, which thankfully, were really good people and never took advantage of me or tried to. But I got lucky. I know when I had these friends and my parents tried to stop me from seeing them, I wouldn’t have it.

    Wish you the best, and for your sister too.

  • Anonymous
    5 days ago

    The exception/answer is called statutory rape. 19 year olds are adults and 13 year olds do not have the capacity for consent. Years from now the age difference won’t matter, but during the formative years they do. My wife is 33 and I am 52, we have a 4 and 8 year old and have been together 14 years. Age doesn’t matter later in life.

  • revsuzanne
    1 month ago

    A 13 year old girl has raging hormones and zero life experience to be able to protect herself. There is a reason there are laws against adults dating children… the difference in sophistication alone guarantees the kid would come out on bottom as a victim.

    You need to take the 19 year old to one side and explain that your sister is only 13… he needs to run along and go play with people his own age. Be as pointed as you have to be to get your point across. If he gives you any guff, you need to first talk to your parents and then have them contact the police to file charges. He is more than likely a pedophile.

    Your sister needs protecting.

  • Ravyn
    1 month ago

    You should definitely be worried. Think back when you were 13 and how easy it was for you to fall in love. She is in love but he may not be (not because of his age). Just support your sister because if you tell her she can’t mess with him that is exactly what she’ll do and she’ll end up going too far with him.

    At the same time teach your sister that if she wants to be with someone that much older than her then she needs to act as an adult an let her parents know……good luck.

  • haylie
    5 days ago

    well in my case i understand all of that but the thing is what if he really dose love her yea some do not all guys are assholes im 18 and when i was 13 i dated a 19 yr old well we are still together and we are still happy yes we had sex and everything but he didnt just want that he wanted a life and a future so dont say that they shouldnt be together.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    dealing with it yourself is going to be hard. She is only 13 and he has already won her over.

    If you talk to him and tell him to back off he can take it two ways.

    1. he will back off and realise what he is doing

    2. he will use your sister against you

    it would be best to get your parents invloved in this and to call the cops to report him. He is an adult and she is a child. He can be classified as a peadophile.

    If they have had sex then he can be put in prison for mandotory rape.

    talk to your parents and report him immediatly. your sister may hate you for this but you have to let her understand that your family is helping her. She’ll will understand in time. This is guy is bad news, get rid of him.

  • JFLester
    1 month ago

    You are right to worry. Don’t try to handle this on your own. I know that you don’t want to get your parents involved but that is what needs to happen. Think about the guilt you would have if you wait and something bad happens. First get your parents involved and if needed to ( they have had sex) the police. This is a real crime. Don’t let it be to late for your sister.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    yeah i would worry.wow usually a guy only dates people that much younger for a couple of reason and they are,thier more easily manipulated,virgains,they cant get anyonehere own age,girls that age always seem to think there in love so when a guys tells them to hop in bed they will because they think there in love,maybe hes just a weird guy attracted to younger girls because hes will a petafile,maybe he dose care about her.he still to old for her but who knows.maybe you should be the older sister and get more info so you can make sure your younger sister isnt in real danger of geting hurt.she might not lesson to you but you can alwyas get the thought in her mind.good luck

  • star*yellow
    1 month ago

    yes you do have a right to worry. this 19 year guy is too old for your sister. your sister probably just thinks that she is in love because a much older guy is paying attention to her.

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